Happy Holidays

Got this interesting e-mail today. I didn't realize it was an actual holiday so i'll be making up for lost time!

Slap Your Co-Worker Day is Coming!!

Tomorrow is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday :Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't give a damn about? Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious,when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it? Well, on behalf of IkeTurner, I am so very very glad to officially announce tomorrow as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY! There are the rules you must follow:

* You can only slap one person per hour - no more.
* You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
* You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
* No weapons are allowed...other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.
* CURSING IS MANDATORY! After you have slapped the recipient, your "assault" must be followed with something like "cause I'm sick of your stupid-a$$ always messing up stuff!"
* If questioned by a supervisor or police, (if the supervisor is the irritant), you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE! Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living day lights out of and get to slapping.....

Have a GREAT DAY!

Your Houston Astros

have a 25-25 record. How the hell do they expect Clemens to sign with that record?

Watched an 18 inning game till 1am last night and they lost to the freaking Pirates.

The freaking Pittsburg Pirates. And with that...

See you in the Fall Classic Tom. We are right where we want to be.

Ex CEO looking for Love

Name: Kenneth Lay

Occupation: Former CEO of Fortune 20 company. Currently in Food Distribution, Cell Block C.

Salary: $2 a day

Favorite food: Commissary soups. Grilled cheese made on hot plates.

Favorite pastime: Reading. Writing. Lifting weights. Taking short walks in prison yard.

My ideal mate: I want someone who will hold me after lovemaking. Someone who will want to hear my side of the story. Someone who isn't afraid to be openly romantic in public. Email profile and photo's please to #047865. xoxo.

The Old Man is dead

Lloyd Millard Bentsen Jr died today at the age of 85. He served in the US House of Representatives, was a four-term US Senator, nominee for Vice President and was a Treasure Secretary under Bill Clinton. Born and raised in Texas, he is the last Democrat to be elected to the Senate from this state. He is perhaps best known for the debate exchange between himself and Dan Quayle in the VP debates...


here's an excerpt of the exchange:

QUAYLE: Three times that I've had this question - and I will try to answer it again for you, as clearly as I can, because the question you are asking is what kind of qualifications does Dan Quayle have to be president, what kind of qualifications do I have and what would I do in this kind of a situation. And what would I do in this situation? I would make sure that the people in the cabinet and the people that are advisors to the president are called in, and I would talk to them, and I will work with them. And I will know them on a firsthand basis, because as vice president I will sit on the National Security Council. And I will know them on a firsthand basis, because I'm going to be coordinating the drug effort. I will know them on a firsthand basis because Vice President George Bush is going to recreate the Space Council, and I will be in charge of that. I will have day-to-day activities with all the people in government. And then, if that unfortunate situation happens - if that situation, which would be very tragic, happens, I will be prepared to carry out the responsibilities of the presidency of the United States of America. And I will be prepared to do that. I will be prepared not only because of my service in the Congress, but because of my ability to communicate and to lead. It is not just age; it's accomplishments, it's experience. I have far more experience than many others that sought the office of vice president of this country. I have as much experience in the Congress as Jack Kennedy did when he sought the presidency. I will be prepared to deal with the people in the Bush administration, if that unfortunate event would ever occur.
WOODRUFF: Senator Bentsen.

BENTSEN: Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy, I knew Jack Kennedy, Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you are no Jack Kennedy. (Prolonged shouts and applause) What has to be done in a situation like that is to call in the -

WOODRUFF: Please, please, once again you are only taking time away from your own candidate.

QUAYLE: That was really uncalled for, Senator. (Shouts and applause)

BENTSEN: You are the one that was making the comparison, Senator - and I'm one who knew him well. And frankly I think you are so far apart in the objectives you choose for your country that I did not think the comparison was well-taken.


REST IN PEACE OLD MAN.

An easy laydown...

During the farmers game I was dealt 99 in the SB. 3 limpers to the pot and the cutoff (Dusty) makes it $12 (4 BBs) to play. I call along with 2 of the limpers. Four to the flop.

Flop: KQ9 with 2 clubs.

Around $50 in the pot and I'm first to act so I bet $35. I didn't like the flush draw/made straight possibilities so I was betting to protect. First guy behind me (Wayne) reraises to $70. Next guy pushes his last $100 into the pot and the original bettor pushes all in and now its to me for the rest of my $140.

It took me 3 seconds to think. I fold.

Wayne has JT for the made straight. Old man has AJ for a str8 draw and Dusty (original raiser) flopped set of Kings.

Turn: Ten - old man makes his str8.

River: Ten - Dusty makes his boat.

What a wild hand. It was an easy fold with that much action. Couple people told me at the table they would have never folded a flopped set.

Well duh, I know that.

Farmer report

Played the farmers and ended +308 for the night. One big hand of note...

I was dealt QQ on the button. The table was playing real tight (i'll get to that later) when Brandon, in early position, makes it $15 to play. Everyone begins to fold and I glance over at the SB/BB. They both have their cards in their hands as if ready to muck, so I decide to just call and not give away my hand strength. Two to the flop.

Flop: JJT

Brandon looks at me and checks and I check behind him.

Turn: Q for a board of JJTQ

Now I have damn near the nuts. Brandon checks again and I have to bet now. I put out $20 and he just calls. Now i'm running over in my head what he could possible have that he would only call. It had to be big. My best guess was AJ or KJ.

River: A for a board of JJTQA

This time Brandon bets out $20. I start putting him on all the hands he would have in EP that he would raise and only call a turn bet. Likely hands are AA, KK, AK, QT, JJ, TT and JT with a few of those hands not very likely (JJ, JT). I decide to reraise $40 more and he only has $12 more after that and pushes all in and I call.

He had TT. He flopped a boat and was setting a trap but I resucked on the turn. I loved it.

Brandon reads this blog now, perhaps he'll give some insight on what he was thinking.

Hows this...

So last Friday I am told before I even sit down that the Asst. Director of Bands has already been filled. Then on Friday afternoon I see a very good friend of mine from HS at a convenience store. He tells me he is coaching in a small town down the street and asked me to be the Asst Baseball coach and English teacher. Sweet! I call him today and it seems that the Athletic Director has someone in mind already. Not so sweet.

Then i'm hearing rumblings that there may be an opening here for the Asst Director of Bands. This is the gig I wanted when I was still in HS. It was always my dream to be the Band Director in my hometown. Turns out there is a rule in Edna that the district cannot hire someone if they have an immediate family member serving on the board and my dad has been on the school board for nearly 10 years. Long enough I say. I ask him, should the position become vacant, would he consider stepping down so I could take it.

He said no, then went through this long, excuse-ladden speech.

Nothing like family.

Weekend update

This is gonna be somewhat long. Read. Don't read. I couldn't care less.

Friday

Basically my life now rotates around poker, so much of this update will involve poker. What else is new. Started at the brother's game with a new found attitude. Failed to update last Friday because I took a royal reaming at the game. I was stuck $300 after 2 hrs last week and rallied by 1 AM to only be down $110. Somewhat of a small victory.

NOT!

Anyway. Started the night out getting a few hands cracked and quickly found myself down $60. Luckily for me I was able to take a 2 hr break. My oldest son had a baseball game so I went to cheer him on. (They won!) I called my buddy Knighty81 just to get some quick tips/solace/sarcasm on my play. Got his answering machine. His message is too funny and it seemed to settle me down. When I returned there was tons of chips in play. I had around $40 which represented the $60 I was down.

One side note: We have a new player to the brother's game. Brandon is one of the dealers at the farmer's game and he is 21. He is a very solid and very aggressive player and because of this he wins alot of chips. He's my buddy and so we generally avoid each other. No collusion, just a little space.

When I returned to the game, Brandon had around $400 in chips. He told us he would be leaving around 11:30. I noticed that Brian had around $100, Steve had around $60 and Bill had around $200. I quickly picked up some pots with pure aggression.

A few hands of note:

John started playing really scared. He told me he was stuck $140 and he had around $80 in front of him. He should have never told me that. I was dealt 88 on the button. Brandon was first to act and called the BB of $1. Jerry called. Bill made it his customary $4 raise. I called from the button. John was the SB and made it $8 to go with pocket 10s. He will never understand that min betting does nothing but build pots. And it gives me the odds to call. BB folds. Brandon folds. Jerry and Bill call and I make the call. 4 to the flop. Flop comes J64 rainbow. John checks his 10s. Jerry checks. Bill checks. I make it $16. Now John is pissed that the board has a higher card than his 10s and he says he folds... Jerry folds and Bill calls. Turn was another Jack. Board is J64J and I feel a little better about my 8s. Bill checks and I push all in my last $20 or so. Bill calls with pocket 2s (why, i have no idea) and I take down the pot.

John is pissed. He couldn't believe I would play 8s to a raise. He called me a fish. Whatever. I won the pot and I was on my way.

Very next hand:

I get 10 10 in the cutoff. John is the button now with AKo. Bill makes it $4 to go and I reraise to $10 straight. John calls. Bill actually folds. Flop comes KQ7. I bet $15 hoping to buy the pot right then but John calls with his top pair/top kicker. I'm now about to give up on the put when the turn comes a 3 and I check. This time he hesitates and only bets $5. It wasn't a bet of confidence so I decide to reraise him to $20 straight. He thinks for around 2 minutes or so and shows me AK and mucks. I show him my 10s and he's really pissed. I still can't believe he folded. A few hands later Bill takes all his chips.

Brandon leaves at 11:30 with a profit of $380. I was now ahead of my buy ins and was making a very good run. Was making good plays and getting some nut hands. We decided we would quit at 1:30. Only 4 players left and I was the chip leader. I quickly knock Brian out and he decides he's gonna just deal. Only 3 players left and we decide to quit. Bill says lets play one more hand. Ok.

Last hand was Omaha Hi. I was dealt KJJ3. Bill makes it $4 to go. I call and Jerry calls with only $60 or so left. Flop comes J33. I have the nuts. I'm the first to act and check. Jerry bets the pot and Bill calls so I just smooth call. Turn comes the 8. I check again and Jerry pushes all in. Bill calls. I call. River is a Q. I no longer have the nuts but its damn close. I bet $15 and bill makes it $40 more to go. I think about it and push all in and he calls immediately. He made an 8s full boat on the turn and I take every chip left on the table for a profit of $280. Very nice night.

Saturday

Monthly Farmers Saturday night tourney. Buyin for the tournament was decided on $150 and we only had 14 players. Not a good turnout and I busted in 7th for $0. No worries. Me and Brandon start playing some $20 Heads up NL games and I'm up $80 quickly. By the time the cash game started I was up around $120 in the heads up games. Only 7 people decide to play the cash games. I love the short handed set ups. I quickly double up my buyin and for the night I ended up $310 and Brandon ended up nearly $400 more. We killed the games this weekend.

Sunday

Rode bikes. Ate pizza. Watched Sopranos.

The Interview

Interviewer: Good Morning. I'm gonna start off by saying that i've already offered a contract to someone else. Have a seat.

Me: (under my breath) Shit.

I have options. no worries.

My day

My last 3 45 seaters i've gotten 2nd, 2nd and 1st. Nice return. Played the last one with Lillian. She got 3rd.

I took a total ass kicking on Friday night at the brother's game. Can't let that happen again. It was like a nightmare scenario where I had huge hands get busted and each time I had a hand they were making me play for all my chips. I'm wondering if they picked up something on me. Pry not since I've had big hands cracked.

And they aren't that good.

*******************************************************

Working on a big project with my friend Clinton. We found an investor for a project that we've talked about for some time. I'm working on design and a feasibility now. Next week we are going to San Antonio so I can show him some of the projects i've worked on. Should be fun.

******************************************************

I took the training wheels off Thomas' bike on Monday and he learned to ride it solo yesterday! This kid is pumped and i'm a happy poppa.

******************************************************

Interview on Friday morning. Don't screw it up Steeler. The kids need to eat.

And soon.

Random 10

Random play on my iPod...

1. Big Poppa - Notorious B.I.G.
2. Everything Happens to Me - Wynton Marsalis
3. Ave maria (Shubert) - Maria Callas
4. Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley
5. 100 years - Five for Fighting
6. Rock with You - Michael Jackson
7. Figure Eight - SchoolHouse Rock
8. Kiss and Say Goodbye - The Manhattans
9. Don't Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
10. Selig sind die Toten, die in dem Hern sterben - Johannes Brahms (German Requiem)

I'm all over the map on this one.

Am I....

...still the uncle to AJ and Aubrey?

Does divorce really mean I have no ties to my nieces and nephews? Funny thing is I have other nieces/nephews from Lidia's side of the family, but those are the only one's I wanna keep. I'm actually glad I have little ties to the inlaws...

I saw a funny link at Khan's site and it reminded me of my EX-mother in law.* My mother-in-law and I never saw eye to eye. She never liked me because, according to her, I always thought I was better than everyone. She was pretty twisted. Here are a few examples of this woman. Some may be exaggerated for pure comic relief.

On leaving Edna for a job in San Antonio - "can't you find work in Edna? If you are as good as you think you are you could.".

On buying a house - "you should just rent and not pay taxes on the house."

On children and seatbelts - "my grandkids are not going to burn up in a car, strapped to their seats."

On children and airbags - "I won't get in a wreck so its ok for them to ride up front. Besides I'll stop them from hitting the dashboard if I see a wreck coming"

On me quitting my job to move back to Edna - "I'm sure you did that to get out of child support"

On me continuing with my education - "Your kids are gonna see that you don't work and think its ok to go to school forever"

On voting - "huh?"

Maybe divorce isn't all that bad after all.

* with the stringent libel lawsuits that exist in this country, the Mother In Law in this story is not representative of actual living or dead mother in laws. My apologies to those who may be offended by this.

Its been awhile...

Long week.

Against my better judgement, I've decided to sign up for 2 more classes this summer:

Literary Theory :In-depth analysis of literary theory and criticism and its application to literature

Story and Culture : Examines the theory and research on the relationships between story and culture, with emphasis on both organizational and social arenas.

Should be loads of fun. Moon.

(moon = sarcasm for the none poker peeps)

Do I really want/need a Masters?

I'm bored. So yes.

************************************************************

Congratulations to my buddy Clinton Tegeler who was elected Mayor of Ganado! Turns out there was a huge turnout because of several contested races. I've known Clinton for 15 years or so and he's one of the most genuinely nice guys I've had the priviledge to know.

Never hurts to suck up to mayors.

Glad I don't live in Ganado.

I kid.

***********************************************************

Finished two poker tables this weekend. WildBill called every 15 minutes... "alfred, you done yet?"

Delivered Virge's table today. He's as ugly as I thought he'd be. Or maybe he looked ugly because of the really good looking lady he brought with him. I may need to re-evaluate. He's gonna be starting a game soon and I'll find/make time to make it during the summer.

Can I crash at your place Virge?

**********************************************************

Its about to rain big time.

Farmers need rain.

AMBER ALERT SOLVED!!!!

I found moster13.

She's hanging with allenray4.

Weekend Wrap

I had a very long post finished but my damn computer locked up and it disappeared. Here's the abridged version.

FRIDAY

Played cards with the Brothers and won $150. Couple that with my $199 win on Monday and it was a good week for live poker. Coulda/shoulda been alot more. I need to figure out what I'm doing so these numbers can be higher. There is approximately $1500+ in play at the farmers game and around $500+ in the Brother's game. I want a bigger slice of the pie.

SATURDAY

Went to the movies with Thomas to see Mission Impossible 3. Pretty good stuff. Prior to this we were at the Cinco de Mayo Festival in Victoria. Tons of people. I ate tons of mexican food. Thomas had a piece of pizza. Nothing says Cinco de Mayo like a pepperoni slice.

Bought the material to make two poker tables. They are gonna be very nice. WildBill is starting a game in Gonzales, TX and needs one quickly. Virge is buying the other.

SUNDAY

Won a token and tried to parlay that into the 50k HORSE game. Got 21st in the satellite where 8 move on. Typical. Finally won a 45 seater. I was the extreme low stack with 18 to play but the chip leaders played so weakly that I was able to double up. Once I had 600 chips when the BB was 400 and the BB folded to me. Allowed me to hang on for another orbit and I doubled a few times. When I got heads up my opponent continued to fold his button and I knew I was gonna dominate. It lasted around 10 hands heads up after we both started with an even number of chips.

I'll sue.

This morning I went into the local bakery to get two sausage kolaches with cheese and a Hi-C. El breakfasto of champions-o. When I was leaving I accidentally caught the corner of the mat and damn near busted my ass. It was actually very funny, catching myself in mid-air, all the while trying to act like I meant doing that the whole time to the other patrons in the store. I've never been accused of being soft on my feet.

anyway...

I know people who, while falling, would have said "eff this" and continued to fall just to get paid. Steeler hates those kind of people.

I hate frivolous lawsuits.

I have a cousin that will sue you if you look at him funny. He's been banned from the local grocery for "falling" in there twice. Funny thing... ITS THE ONLY GROCERY STORE IN TOWN!!!! And this fat ass needs at least 5000 calories a day just to get out of bed. Now he has people who have to do the shopping for him, which isn't easy. (see the 5k calorie comment)

Reminded me of a lawsuit I just read in Cali. Hope I don't screw up the details...

Man sues City

A guy in a California city is suing his hometown because a Sanitation truck backed into his car causing several thousand dollars in damage. Sounds legit, right? Well, it would be, but the driver of said Sanitation truck, was also the owner of the car. Yeah. The dumbass backed into his own car and is now suing the city. It gets better.

Initially it was his wife that sued the city cause it was her car. But it turns out there is some law in California that says married couples cannot sue each other over community property damage cause by the other. So the lawsuit was dropped. End of story.

Nope. He decides to sue the city because a city employee (him) caused damage to his car.

The case is still pending.