Happy Chanukkah
Best wishes to my Jewish buddies. I honestly didn't know that Chanukkah had started until I read the forum the other day. It had me wondering - What do I really know about other religions? I'm a catholic and I don't pretend to know the mysteries of the church of Rome. In fact I didn't even know that catholics believe in purgatory until a few years back. I can honestly say that I've never heard it mention in my cathecism or during mass. Not that I went to either with any regularity. A few things that I think I know about other religions.
Judaism - They're the chosen people. Least that's what I hear. I do know they do wonderful things in Hollywood and the financial markets worldwide.
Lutheran - This is like the black sheep of catholicism. The used to be catholics but Martin Luther wasn't asked to sit at the cool kids table so he, like any good person of faith, decided to start his own thing.
Baptists - The happiest people to see the war on terror. Why? They no longer have to endure the butt of late night jokes. Everything I know about baptists I learned from the movie Footloose. They pretty much hate anything fun. Which has me wondering how there are so many baptists if its a sin to be naked.
Episcopalian - I've never met anyone who has ever episcopaled.
Mormonism - Wow. I could just stop at that, but with all the news of Mitt Romney's run at the big chair there are tons I think I know about Mormon's. I think they believe that Heaven is actually a planet in space and that if we are good people on Earth we can live in paradise near Uranus. Kudos to John Smith who felt the need to start his own religion after he was slighted - ala Luther. And wtf with multiple marriage? I know that it's not standard Mormon belief now but how the hell is having more than one wife ever a good thing? One wife telling me to pick up my shit on the floor and change the channel from sports would be plenty.
Jehovah's Witness - Gold star for coolest name. These guys are out there. I think they don't believe in blood transfusions and that only 144,000 of them are going to heaven. I guess that leaves the rest of us out in the dark. I couldn't be motivated to be religious if i knew I wasn't one of the 144,000 that weren't going to heaven. Having a JW girlfriend wouldn't be bad though. You could tell her you wanted to get her that Jared's* ring, but her religion wouldn't allow the gift.
Muslims - These guys love God so much they'll die 10x over for Allah. Wouldn't you, if you believed you could have 100 virgins waiting for you if you die for Allah? Personally I believe that Muslims get a bad rap in the world but that is a very unpatriotic thing for me to say and I'd have the Homeland Security coppers on my arse.
In all actuality I think that all religions serve an important purpose in life and I really believe that we all pray to the same God. We just have different delivery techniques. My apologies to all those that may be offended by this post. Deal with it. I haven't posted in ages.
Oh yeah, if any of my Jewish friends want to give me a teddy bear for Chanukkah that would be awesome!
I'd name him Mohammed.
Peace and Tranquility in this holiday season my friends.
-247
* special thanks to Huck.
Judaism - They're the chosen people. Least that's what I hear. I do know they do wonderful things in Hollywood and the financial markets worldwide.
Lutheran - This is like the black sheep of catholicism. The used to be catholics but Martin Luther wasn't asked to sit at the cool kids table so he, like any good person of faith, decided to start his own thing.
Baptists - The happiest people to see the war on terror. Why? They no longer have to endure the butt of late night jokes. Everything I know about baptists I learned from the movie Footloose. They pretty much hate anything fun. Which has me wondering how there are so many baptists if its a sin to be naked.
Episcopalian - I've never met anyone who has ever episcopaled.
Mormonism - Wow. I could just stop at that, but with all the news of Mitt Romney's run at the big chair there are tons I think I know about Mormon's. I think they believe that Heaven is actually a planet in space and that if we are good people on Earth we can live in paradise near Uranus. Kudos to John Smith who felt the need to start his own religion after he was slighted - ala Luther. And wtf with multiple marriage? I know that it's not standard Mormon belief now but how the hell is having more than one wife ever a good thing? One wife telling me to pick up my shit on the floor and change the channel from sports would be plenty.
Jehovah's Witness - Gold star for coolest name. These guys are out there. I think they don't believe in blood transfusions and that only 144,000 of them are going to heaven. I guess that leaves the rest of us out in the dark. I couldn't be motivated to be religious if i knew I wasn't one of the 144,000 that weren't going to heaven. Having a JW girlfriend wouldn't be bad though. You could tell her you wanted to get her that Jared's* ring, but her religion wouldn't allow the gift.
Muslims - These guys love God so much they'll die 10x over for Allah. Wouldn't you, if you believed you could have 100 virgins waiting for you if you die for Allah? Personally I believe that Muslims get a bad rap in the world but that is a very unpatriotic thing for me to say and I'd have the Homeland Security coppers on my arse.
In all actuality I think that all religions serve an important purpose in life and I really believe that we all pray to the same God. We just have different delivery techniques. My apologies to all those that may be offended by this post. Deal with it. I haven't posted in ages.
Oh yeah, if any of my Jewish friends want to give me a teddy bear for Chanukkah that would be awesome!
I'd name him Mohammed.
Peace and Tranquility in this holiday season my friends.
-247
* special thanks to Huck.
posted by steeler247 at
7:34 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home