If i were president...

Gas prices just went up to $2.50 a gallon. There should be no reason why gas is that high in Texas. No reason. Three weeks ago we were finally seeing some relief at $2.00. I can't help but think, with all the record profits by the big oil companies, that there isn't some type of cronyism going on. But hell if I were president, would I do anything different? Pry not.

Here's my cabinet:

Vice President - Kent Hrbek. We need at least one Ivy Leaguer in the White House and this guy would be the perfect Dick to my Dubya. Now that sounded far worse than what I really meant, but I'll leave it up for the mere shock value of it.

Secretary of Defense - Khanwoman. Even the boogie man is scared of her. She pulls no punches and we'd be nuking Mexico if they decided to raise prices on fake rolex's and pinatas. I'd have to agree with her.

Secretary of Agriculture - SlySelea. This guy knows crops. His pick on corn futures made rao an overnight millionaire.

Secretary of Interior - Tough one. Everyone I know on the forum seldom goes outside so we may have to leave this one blank. Managing parks and such isn't the strong suit of any forumer and we may have to outsource this one. Pry get Chuck Norris.

Secretary of Labor - I don't think anyone on the forum is qualified for this. Most of us are unemployed. Then again, being Labor Secretary would mean one less person unemployed! Tell me my policies don't work and I'll call you a liar! My vote is for allenray4. He just started working and is pry the most qualified.

Secretary of State - Topanga14. She's the most level headed person I know and wouldn't take crap from Checkrayzikstan. Plus she would look hot in those business suits. And I'd love to see her work out videos ala Condy Rice.

Secretary of Transportation - Deemon. She's always traveling and has more frequent flier miles than anyone on the forum. Her office would be located in the Wynn - High rollers suite. If she doesn't want this job, she can always be Director of NASA. She's the only one who would understand all that math. Or the only one who actually cared for all that math.

Secretary of Homeland Security - TomFornelli. He's Italian. No one messes with Italians. Something tells me Big Pussy and Tony Soprano would be on speed dial. That can't be a bad thing.

Secretary of Veteran Affairs - Who's the oldest on the forum?

If i didn't name you as a cabinet position never fear, there are tons of non-Cabinet, yet equally cool positions on the Supreme Court, FEMA, NSA or CIA. Lemme know what works best for you.

- s247